I recently discovered that if you throw things (e.g. a bra or a pair of knickers) at a ceiling fan it very satisfactorily whisks them across the room in a pleasing sort of way… so today I arrived at school for my Thai class and went to the loo. There was a little extractor fan in the toilet cubicle like the one in my mum’s bathroom without a cover on it. I thought I’d throw a bit of (unused) bog roll at it to see where it whisked it off to (yes, I am four years old at heart).

Alas, the bog roll got stuck in the fan, which started making an unpleasant racket. I quickly exited the loo and was washing my hands when the teacher came in and went into the same cubicle. She heard the fan, obviously, and tried to turn it off but couldn’t, so went to find the maintenance guy who had to reset the electric supply to the bathroom in order to stop the fan and retrieve the offending bit of tissue paper.

The teacher and the maintenance guy looked at me, very confused, and I just shrugged and made agreeing noises, like why the fuck is there a bit of toilet roll in the fan? Then I went to class and felt really silly.

The end.