After a very good few days during which I had some major breakthroughs with ERP therapy, I had a relapse which felt worse than ever (though actually it wasn’t, it just felt that way because I thought I was okay) and am now picking up the pieces from that and reengaging with ERP. Feeling quite stuck, to be honest. Very fearful about where this might lead: what if my thoughts are actually true? What if by exposing myself to them and thinking them over and over again they become true? Both absolutely classic OCD thoughts, but nonetheless very disturbing. Am also finding it difficult to fully do ERP because I’m still doing it in the hope that it will make my thoughts go away. Which, obviously, is the point, but doing it with that mindset is counterproductive. What a nightmarish disorder this is and I am feeling a bit sorry for myself right now!